Friday, March 16, 2007

Have a giggle

Pregnancy, Estrogen and Women Pregnancy Q & A & more!

  • Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
  • A: No, 35 children is enough.

  • Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
  • A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

  • Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
  • A: Childbirth.

  • Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
  • A: So what's your question?

  • Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?
  • A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

  • Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
  • A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

  • Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?
  • A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

  • Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
  • A: Yes, pregnancy.

  • Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
  • A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

  • Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
  • A: When the kids are in college.


  • 1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
  • 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelette.
  • 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
  • 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
  • 5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".
  • 6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
  • 7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".
  • 8 You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
  • 9 You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
  • 10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday..


  • 10. Cats' facial expressions.
  • 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colours.
  • 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
  • 7. Fat clothes.
  • 6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
  • 5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
  • 4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
  • 3. Eyelash curlers.
  • 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand :


Annemarie said...

Jacqui, thanks for making me laugh!

Jenny said...

Thanks Jacqui - I needed a laugh today! :)