HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Monday, January 04, 2010
So, while I love being a woman, 'Womanhood' would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby.
You think woman are the 'weaker sex'? Yeah right.
Posted by Jacqui at 8:54 pm
Monday, November 09, 2009
You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:
FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.
TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over-inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their bottom.
SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water!
WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: it easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.
Posted by Jacqui at 8:22 pm
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Posted by Jacqui at 12:27 pm
Friday, November 06, 2009
The difference...Men are just happier people. What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is £3 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everthing on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wall and one pair of shoes, one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nailes with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on 24th December in 25 minutes flat.
Posted by Jacqui at 9:26 pm
Taken from the Sentenella #62 Axarquia Edition
Posted by Jacqui at 4:01 pm
Taken from The Sentinella #62 - Axarquia Edition
HALF OF BRITS INJURED BY BISCUITS
More than half of all Britons have been injured by biscuits, accoring to a new survey.
An estimated 25 million adults have been injured while eating during a tea or coffee break - with at least 500 landing themselves in hospital.
The survey found that almost a third of adults had been splashed or scalded by hot drinks while dunking or trying to fish out the remnants of a collapsed digestive.
It also revealed 28 per cent had choked on crumbs while one in ten had broken a tooth or filling biting a biscuit. Three per cent had poked themselves in the eye with a biscuit and sever per cent bitten by a pet or "other wild animal" trying to get their biscuit.
The custard cream was found to be the worst offender.
Posted by Jacqui at 1:20 pm
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
The photo below was taken about an hour after we arrived at Cafe Bar Nautico, the bar that Craig's cousin Marion runs with her partner Graham. It was red hot in Spain the two weeks that were there, so we were really lucky with the weather, which was great.
Below: view along the promenade
Below: Marion and Graham. We went to a restaurant overlooking the harbour for lunch on the Saturday, after a walk around the market.
Below: Sunset on the beach.
Posted by Jacqui at 11:36 am
Below: Hazel and Tracey, hard at work
Below: Clare and Tina
Below: Clare and Lynn. Does anyone remember Les Dawson and Roy Barraclough doing a sketch dressed up as old women gossiping over the fence? This is them when they were younger. PMSL. Sorry ladies, but I just couldn't help it.
Posted by Jacqui at 11:20 am
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Posted by Jacqui at 12:24 pm
Monday, September 14, 2009
Keely had a great day on her birthday, and also on her party day which was Saturday. Kate's dad, his wife and their youngest son came up, as did Laura, her fiance Dean, and her mum Nicky. My friend Wendy came for an hour. My parents and brother Kevin came, Dene and Ian, Nadia and her four kids from next door, my cousin Michelle and her son Jordan, and Susan (who made the cake) and her husband Stephen came too. It was a good day, although I was shattered by the time everyone left as I'd been up since 6am with Keely, and then I'd helped with all the food, including going to pick the cake up in the morning.
Posted by Jacqui at 10:03 am